Here you can read about how I view Tantra and how that is the foundation for, among other things, the workshop "Tantra - Pleasure and healing".
In Tantra, you see sexuality as a fantastic tool to develop yourself and feel good in your body, soul, and heart.
Because if the sexual encounter works well, it can be a wonderful act that will help you open up, deepen your connection, and give you pleasure in every way. But also because in our intimate and sexual encounters, it becomes clear if we have shame, guilt, hang-ups, or blockages that stand in the way for us to be able to feel pleasure. And what is so magical about sexuality is that you can also use it as a tool to heal and transform these obstacles.
So, in Tantra, you use sexuality to feel pleasure, but also as a way to raise awareness, heal, and transform what prevents you from feel pleasure.
Not just about sex
You may have heard people say, "Tantra is not just about sex." and that it is a "spiritual path." But my experience is that few people talk about "the other stuff" in Tantra. So I will try to briefly give my view on what I think Tantra is about.
Tantra is an approach to life that is about accepting (not judging), embracing, and being with what is. To say YES to life, become more present, and "just be" in the present moment. To break limiting norms and taboos, go beyond duality and instead become one with everything.
This applies to all aspects of life, and Tantra sex is simply having sex with a tantric approach. The intention is to transform all obstacles between each other and "merge" with your partner to experience that you are one with everything. You can also have solo-sex with yourself and transform obstacles such as self-judgment, self-criticism, and other things that may stand in the way between you and Life and instead experience love.
The body is a temple
One of the "tools" used in Tantra is the body. The more present we are in the body, the more present we are here and now, because the body is here and now. And the more we are here and now, the more we experience the love that is constantly here and now.
The body is therefore seen as a "temple", and a Tantrika (who practice Tantra) deeply respect and honor their own and other people's bodies. Because it can give us spiritual experiences of being one with life. In many other traditions, the body, sexuality, and pleasure are seen as sinful and unspiritual. In Tantra, it is seen as a spiritual path.
Examples of other things that are going on in the present moment are breathing, sounds that we express, movements in the body, sexual energies, taste, smell, touch, hearing, and sight. Therefore, in Tantra, all this is used as tools for becoming more present, feeling more alive, and experiencing more love.
As I see it, pleasure is maybe the best tool in Tantra. Because when we feel pleasure, we open up, we let go, saying YES, and are present. When we feel pleasure totally, so many other things come naturally. We breathe, make sounds, move, all the senses are involved, and the energies flow. And in that state, everything can come up to the surface, for example, horniness, joy, sensuality, and strength. But also grief, vulnerability, shame, and guilt, which can then be embraced, healed, and transformed. When we are in a state of pleasure, it is also much easier to face challenging situations.
In other words, pleasure is not only pleasurable but can also be a great way to work with healing. So for me, Tantra is very much about pleasure and healing and hence the name of my workshop "Tantra - Pleasure and healing".
I have not yet met anyone who expresses their pleasure by saying "no, yuk, this should be different". On the contrary, you can describe pleasure as a state of acceptance where you say YES and embrace life as it is. And it is in this embrace that healing takes place. It is when we dare to meet, be with, accept, and embrace the parts of ourselves that we may have previously tried to escape, repress, or control that the transformation takes place. Then our blockages can melt away, like ice that turns into water.
Spirituality = Unity
For me, spirituality is about being one with Life, the universe, God, Love, or whatever you want to call it. Personally, I usually refer to Life (what is) and Love (the experience we get from being one with what is). But it is not so important what you call it. The important thing is that you feel unity, oneness. That there is no separation between, for example, us as an individual and Life itself. Because it is the separation, or rather that we BELIEVE that we are separated, that creates our pain and fear. And most of what we do during our lifetime is that we either try to avoid the existential anxiety we feel because we think we are separated. Or we do a lot of different things that we believe will make us experience unity and oneness, or in other words, make us become one with Life and experience love.
So, pain is not so much about what we experience, but rather about the gap between what is really happening in the present moment and what we think we should feel or need to feel love. For example, we feel sad, but we think we should be happy. Or we feel horny, but we think we should not feel that, etc. This is separation. A separation between what is really happening in the present and our ideas about what should happen. More examples of separation: believing that we should be more developed than we are, believing that we are better or worse than other people, racism, privilege, hate, envy, lust, jealousy, thinking happiness is "over there" etc. All this is based on separation.
When we instead can be present and, at the same time, embrace what IS here and now (inside and outside), we experience Life that is happening right now. And instead of living in the past or the future or having ideas about how life should be, we participate in life here and now. We live our lives in tune with life, and as a result of that, we feel alive. We become one with life and all that is, which gives us an experience of love, and that is the purpose of Tantra.
So, the whole thing is very simple. We practice Tantra to become more present here and now, which gives us the experience of love.
To experience more love
Where and when do you experience love? I think the answer to that question is: here and now. Love is always present everywhere, and you can only experience it in the present moment. And when we are present enough to experience what is going on at the present moment, we can experience love. In other words, our ability to experience love is entirely dependent on how much we are able to be here and now.
A Tantra Temple
During a workshop or a session with me, my intention is that you should feel you are stepping into a safe room where you can be who you are and get support to become more of who you want to be. That it is allowed for you to feel what you feel and explore new feelings, experiences, and sides of yourself. That you have the opportunity to increase your self-love and be able to accept and enjoy being who you are - with all of what that it means.
Like you are entering a "Tantra temple" where you can enjoy and celebrate life, but also get support to embrace and transform obstacles that stand in the way of enjoying life to the fullest.
A continuous process
Tantra is a path you are walking and continuously finds new depths and reminders of your inner source of love. In the same way, as you practice, e.g., yoga, the practice of Tantra, and the ability to live in the present moment is a process that you need to keep doing. Because you do not go to a yoga class a couple of times and then stop doing it because you think you are done and do not have to do it anymore. And like yoga, Tantra is not about learning new things and then check it off from your list because you have "done the course". Sure, in a workshop or a session, you learn new things, but Tantra is mainly about practicing. And in the same way that you will not get a healthy body by just buying a gym card or reading a health magazine, you will probably not have any ecstatic spiritual experiences or experience that you merge and become one with your partner if you only read about Tantra or half-heartedly do some exercises in one or two workshops.
Tantra is not a goal, it is a path.
But a start on that path could be to attend a workshop (see below) or a session and experience pleasure and healing.
Feel free to contact me if you have questions or reflections on the text.
You are welcome to copy and distribute the text freely, but with the following license terms (Creative Commons) and that you state the following source:
Lorenzo Stiernquist - www.starspray.com
Pleasure is not only pleasurable,
but can also be
a great tool to
work with healing.
Tantra - Pleasure and healing
Nov 11-14, 2021 at Ängsbacka
Pleasure is a fantastic way to support healing. When we feel pleasure, we open up, we let go, we’re saying “yes” and we are present - here and now. In that state, anything can surface; lust, joy, vulnerability as well as feelings of shame. During this workshop we will devote ourselves to pleasure - purely because it is pleasurable - and also because pleasure will support our healing and deepening our connection to expand and open up for even more joy and pleasure in life.
This is a workshop for you who want to:
- feel more alive and become more present
- heal feelings of shame, guilt and sexual wounds
- increase your ability to be close to other people
- explore new sides of yourself
- unite sexuality and spirituality
- feel more love for yourself and your body
- feel more love for other people and life itself
What we will do
During the weekend you can choose to focus on what you need to practice regarding sex and intimacy. It’s usually a lot of physical touch and many exercises to feel safe, confident, relaxed with your self and others and be supported to transform obstacles and feel more pleasure.
Tantra is about being with what is right now and therefore we will adjust the content of the workshop to what happens in the group. This means that all workshops are different.
Here are examples of what we might do:
- practicing intimacy and being close to others
- practice conscious and empathetic touch, giving and
- exercises to feel and communicate what we want and need
- express feelings and truths, without taking responsibility
for other people’s reactions
- get better at saying YES and fully indulge ourselves
- practice saying NO and setting healthy boundaries
- breathing exercises that gives more energy, presence
and deepens the experience
- exercises that can increase the energy flow in the body
and facilitate ecstatic experiences and
- peaceful and/or dynamic Tantric meditations
- explore intimate contact with other people using all
- training to follow impulses, dare to take initiative, lead
and express our power
- an opportunity to be held and let go
- dancing to celebrate life, experience a free flow in the
body and increase the presence
- sharing our inner experiences with each other
Pleasure and healing
In Tantra sexuality, touch and pleasure are amazing tools that support you in unfolding your loving heart and finding harmony in your body and soul. We use these tools to either enjoy the moment, or to increase awareness of what is preventing us from experiencing our natural state of love and pleasure. Also by practicing conscious breathing, the flow of sexual energy naturally arises and through respectful and loving touch, we have the opportunity to heal and transform those obstacles.
It’s in the state of pleasure and through embracing what is that healing can take place. It’s when we face, accept and love those parts of ourselves (which we previously tried to escape, repress or control) that these frozen parts can melt and flow, in the same way as ice becomes water.
We welcome you regardless of sexual orientation, preference or experience, whether you are single or have one or more partners. Welcome to a space where you can be who you are and become who you want to be.
Registration and more info: www.angsbacka.se
How we handle the situation with the Coronavirus
We will have the workshop in line with current restrictions. We will be a maximum of 30 people in the workshop room, wash our hands thoroughly and keep the distance during meals. You need to consent to all your interactions (eg before hugging someone).
We welcome people who are healthy and who have no symptoms. If you do not feel well, we expect you to cancel your participation before arrival and if you get symptoms when you are on site, you need to leave the workshop.
The safest thing is if you bring a friend / partner (or several) and you can then do the exercises together and keep your distance from others. But you can also come alone and do the exercises with someone else who also wants to do this. But of course there is nothing we can force anyone to do.
So, there will be people who are close to each other at the workshop. And there will be intimate exercises for those who want to participate in these. Sweden has chosen an approach for Convid-19 where it is not about ensuring that no one will be infected but instead "flattening the curve". If you belong to a risk group or are in close contact with risk groups, you need to consider your decision to come to Ängsbacka carefully.
Let us send loving thoughts to all who are affected by the coronavirus and respond to this challenge with care, practical help, respect and even more love. As you probably already know, love (and oxytocin) is very good for the immune system.
Feel free to contact us if you have any questions.
Registration and more info:
Mobile: +46 722 81 11 78
Q&A with Lorenzo about Tantra
Read about how I became interested in Tantra, and what it means to me personally and how it benefits me in my daily life. And also about how Tantra can offer you more pleasure and healing.