The Wheel of Consent
May 14-16, 2021
LIVE - ONLINE
FOR COUPLE - In English
The Wheel of Consent is a fantastic tool for you who want to learn how to feel more pleasure, to know what you want, have clearer boundaries, and communicate better. It helps you to say no easier and also ask for what you really want, need, and long for in your relationships.
The online course has almost the same structure as a "regular" course for couples where you do all the exercises with your partner or friend, while all instructions, theory sessions, and sharing will be on Zoom (video conference). You get the opportunity to develop your relationship and do the exercises at home in a safe and relaxed environment. At the same time, you get new inspiration and contact with other people, which can be very nice now that we can not attend courses in the same way as usual due to the coronavirus. Below you can read more about how the course works practically, but first, a little more about the Wheel of Consent.
❁ The Wheel of Consent
Sometimes, when we hug a person, for example, we can experience how we both give and receive at the same time and that it feels wonderful. But in other situations when it does not feel good, we may need to clarify certain things. You may have had the experience of being touched, but at the same time been unsure whether the touch was for you or the other person's sake. Or you may have touched another person without first finding out if you really want it or if the other person wants it. Or been confused about whether you touch in the way you want to touch or if you touch in the way you think the other person wants to be touched or that you touch in the way you wish you want to touch ... Sometimes it can be emotional chaos, and that is when the Wheel of Consent comes in and can help you sort out the mess.
The Wheel of Consent is like a "map" that helps you navigate as you interact with other people. It clarifies who is doing and who it is for. In other words, who is giving a gift and who is receiving a gift. Because then it also becomes clear who needs to communicate their needs and desires and who is responsible for communicating their boundaries. The Wheel of Consent can also function as a common "language" that makes it easier to communicate and ensure that everything is done with consent.
❁ The content
You will have the opportunity to do different exercises (usually with touch) and learn the Wheel of Consent and in that way learn more about:
- consent and boundaries
- how to feel more pleasure
- have fun and at the same time develop and
deepen your relationship
- how you can feel more secure in an interaction
- how you can make conscious choices about touch
- the four different ways of touch
- how to give and receive touch wholeheartedly
- the art of taking (with consent)
- be able to ask for what you REALLY want
- how to experience and to increase both
direct and indirect pleasure
- the difference between what you WANT and
what you are WILLING to
- how you can more easily feel, value, and express
- the theory around the Wheel of Consent and how it can
be a help to get better relationships
- how to avoid getting caught in the shadow sides
- how to get back to consent if you happen to end up
in the shadow sides
- why we sometimes do not ask for what we want
- what we do instead of asking for what we want
- how to strengthen the various spiritual aspects
of the Wheel of Consent
- discussions and Q&A
- sharing, where you can share your experiences and
listen to others experiences and insights
The Wheel of Consent basis is - as the name suggests - that everything is done with consent. But for consent to work, we need to become aware of our own patterns and understand how different dynamics in relationships work. Know more about power dynamics, the shadow sides, and how we can create trust in each other. We need to learn how to have clear communication and find out what we really want and what makes us feel good. Because otherwise, it is difficult to know what we really give consent to. That is why we will, among other things, explore the four different "roles" in the Wheel of Consent. These four roles provide the opportunity to experience more pleasure, but they also have their challenges and shadow sides that are important to become aware of and know how to handle.
❁ What the course is and is not
The course will include many exercises with the possibility of touch. But the focus is on deepening your understanding of the Wheel of Consent and learn to make true, wholehearted, and conscious choices.
This is a course for you who want to feel more pleasure and enjoy touch more. But to be able to do that, you need to find out what kind of touch you really want to receive and not. And what kind of touch you are willing to give and not. It is simply a matter of gaining an in-depth understanding of yourself. The goal is to be able to enjoy intimate interaction more by feeling relaxed, safe, seen, and heard. Which is something you will be able to benefit from in many different situations for the rest of your life. So even though there will be opportunities for a lot of touches, the focus is on developing yourself and learning about the Wheel of Consent and not on the touch itself. This is not a "massage course".
❁ For whom the course is aimed
The course is for beginners, but also for you who have practiced the Wheel of Consent before. Because what most people experience is that you continuously experience new depths and insights the more you practice.
It doesn’t matter what relationship you have with the person you are doing the exercises with. You may have been a couple for a long time, just started dating, being relatives, being old friends, or just met. The important thing is that both of you want to explore how you can be more honest and true to yourself and others about your limits and to find out how you really want to be touched and not.
You are welcome regardless of sexual orientation, ethnicity, age (but at least 18 years old), religion, or if you identify yourself as a man, woman, a mixture of both, or something else.
Although the Wheel of Consent can significantly improve and develop your sex life, this is not a sex course, and everyone should at least have underwear on during the whole course.
❁ To feel safe
Everything is voluntary! There is nothing that you have to do. All exercises are only suggestions, and as long as everything is done with your partner’s consent, you can adapt the exercises to suit you better. You can say no at any time, and you can change your mind whenever you want, as often as you want and need. The course is about making conscious choices, and if you consciously choose not to do a particular exercise, it is entirely in line with the course's intention, and you will still totally benefit from the course. Everything is confidential, which means that you are not allowed to share with others what any participant has said or done, and it is not allowed to record, take photos or take screenshots. It is important that no one disturbs you by walking into your room. For your sake, but also so that the other participants can feel safe that no one who is not a participant can see or hear them.
❁ Here's how it works
Instead of you and your partner or friend is in the same room as me and the other participants, you are at home and participating via Zoom (see below for more information). What is different than many other online courses is that everything is done live (live broadcast). This is not a course with pre-recorded videos where you get "homework to do next time". But everyone participates, listens, talks, and does the exercises in real-time.
For example, via Zoom, I can instruct an exercise including touch that takes 10 minutes to do. You do the exercise and then come back to Zoom to share how it was for you and listen to other people's experiences and insights. I can answer questions that may arise during the exercise and explain more about the Wheel of Consent theory before I guide you into the next exercise.
❁ This is what you need to be able to participate:
- a partner or friend to do the exercises with
- a place where you can be undisturbed
- a mattress, yoga mat, or bed to do the exercises on
- possibility to sit comfortably (pillows, meditation chairs,
- a computer/laptop with internet and a camera (webcam).
One computer per couple is enough.
- Zoom program (free). More information below.
- notepad and pen (optional)
- something to eat and drink during the breaks
❁ How Zoom works
I have put together a guide for you who do not know how Zoom works and some tips on making Zoom work better for you and so that others can see and hear you well. But also so you will have the best experience possible, e.g., set up the room, make it comfortable and how we can interact with each other:
❁ The facilitator
My name is Lorenzo Stiernquist, and I have worked with sessions, coaching, training, and courses for over 13 years. I am a Tantra teacher, Massage teacher, Sexsibility coach, founder of the Sexsibility coach training and the Sexsibility festival. The wheel of consent became a life-changing experience for me in 2013. Since then, I have been exploring it and teaching about it. I have attended Betty Martin's (the founder of the Wheel of Consent) course "Like a Pro" three times, attended Betty's Practitioner Training, attended and assisted in several online courses with Betty, and been part of the School of Consent. I use my knowledge both privately and in my work with clients, and I have held many sessions and workshops with the Wheel of Consent in various contexts. I am passionate about spreading this groundbreaking knowledge to as many people as possible by integrating it into all the sessions, courses, trainings, festivals, and events that I facilitate. You can read more about me at www.starspray.com/eng_about_lorenzo.htm
May 14-16, 2021
❁ Times - Time Zone CEST (UTC/GMT +2 hours)
Friday May 14: 7 to 9.30 p.m. (19.00-21.30)
Saturday May 15: 10 a.m. to 6.30 p.m. (10.00-18.30)
Sunday May 16: 10 a.m. to 6.30 p.m. (10.00-18.30)
Lunch 12.30 to 2 p.m. (12.30-14.00)
One tip is to prepare food so that you also have time to rest, take a walk or something else that you need during lunch.
❁ Link to Zoom
You will receive a link to my Zoom Room in your payment confirmation.
SEK 3,500 incl. VAT per couple (SEK 1,750 per person).
More info below if you want an invoice.
❁ Payment and cancellation rule
You buy your ticket directly via the Internet at TicketTailor:
You can also receive an invoice. Book at TicketTailor
and fill in your details with social security number alt. organization number, address and company name, and an invoice will be sent to you. SEK 200 extra for invoice fee for private individuals (SEK 3,700 incl. VAT in total)
Companies are invoiced SEK 3,500 excl. VAT (SEK 4,375 incl. VAT)
Cancellation can only be made if you have a medical certificate and then 75% of the fee you have paid will be refunded.
❁ A limited number of tickets
We will limit the number of participants to a maximum of 20 people (10 couples)
❁ More info:
❁ Betty Martin
The Wheel of Consent is created by Betty Martin from the USA, and she has approved me as a teacher. I follow the guidelines that Betty has developed for a weekend course. She also generously shares her experience and knowledge about the Wheel of Consent. Read more and watch free videos on her website:
Download the Wheel of Consent (PDF)
Tantra - Pleasure and healing
Nov 11- 14, 2021
at Ängsbacka - In English
Pleasure is a fantastic way to support healing. When we feel pleasure, we open up, we let go, we’re saying “yes” and we are present - here and now. In that state, anything can surface; lust, joy, vulnerability as well as feelings of shame. During this workshop we will devote ourselves to pleasure - purely because it is pleasurable - and also because pleasure will support our healing and deepening our connection to expand and open up for even more joy and pleasure in life.
This is a workshop for you who want to:
- feel more alive and become more present
- heal feelings of shame, guilt and sexual wounds
- increase your ability to be close to other people
- explore new sides of yourself
- unite sexuality and spirituality
- feel more love for yourself and your body
- feel more love for other people and life itself
What we will do
During the weekend you can choose to focus on what you need to practice regarding sex and intimacy. It’s usually a lot of physical touch and many exercises to feel safe, confident, relaxed with your self and others and be supported to transform obstacles and feel more pleasure.
Tantra is about being with what is right now and therefore we will adjust the content of the workshop to what happens in the group. This means that all workshops are different.
Here are examples of what we might do:
- practicing intimacy and being close to others
- practice conscious and empathetic touch, giving and
- exercises to feel and communicate what we want and need
- express feelings and truths, without taking responsibility
for other people’s reactions
- get better at saying YES and fully indulge ourselves
- practice saying NO and setting healthy boundaries
- breathing exercises that gives more energy, presence
and deepens the experience
- exercises that can increase the energy flow in the body
and facilitate ecstatic experiences and
- peaceful and/or dynamic Tantric meditations
- explore intimate contact with other people using all
- training to follow impulses, dare to take initiative, lead
and express our power
- an opportunity to be held and let go
- dancing to celebrate life, experience a free flow in the
body and increase the presence
- sharing our inner experiences with each other
Pleasure and healing
In Tantra sexuality, touch and pleasure are amazing tools that support you in unfolding your loving heart and finding harmony in your body and soul. We use these tools to either enjoy the moment, or to increase awareness of what is preventing us from experiencing our natural state of love and pleasure. Also by practicing conscious breathing, the flow of sexual energy naturally arises and through respectful and loving touch, we have the opportunity to heal and transform those obstacles.
It’s in the state of pleasure and through embracing what is that healing can take place. It’s when we face, accept and love those parts of ourselves (which we previously tried to escape, repress or control) that these frozen parts can melt and flow, in the same way as ice becomes water.
We welcome you regardless of sexual orientation, preference or experience, whether you are single or have one or more partners. Welcome to a space where you can be who you are and become who you want to be.
Registration and more info: www.angsbacka.se
More about what Tantra is
But before you sign up, you may want to know more about how I view Tantra and how that is the basis for my Tantra workshops. You may have heard people say, "Tantra is not just about sex." and that it is a "spiritual path." But my experience is that people do not talk so much talk about "those other things" in Tantra. So I have briefly written about what I think Tantra and tantra sex is about. Among other things, that it is an approach to life, where you accept (not judge) and embrace and be with what is. Saying YES to life, become more present, and "just be" in the present moment. To break limiting norms and taboos, go beyond opposites and duality and instead become one with everything. And that tantra sex is simply having sex with this tantric approach. Read more>>
How we handle the situation with the Coronavirus
We will have the workshop in line with current restrictions. We will be a maximum of 30 people in the workshop room, wash our hands thoroughly and keep the distance during meals. You need to consent to all your interactions (eg before hugging someone).
We welcome people who are healthy and who have no symptoms. If you do not feel well, we expect you to cancel your participation before arrival and if you get symptoms when you are on site, you need to leave the workshop.
The safest thing is if you bring a friend / partner (or several) and you can then do the exercises together and keep your distance from others. But you can also come alone and do the exercises with someone else who also wants to do this. But of course there is nothing we can force anyone to do.
So, there will be people who are close to each other at the workshop. And there will be intimate exercises for those who want to participate in these. Sweden has chosen an approach for Convid-19 where it is not about ensuring that no one will be infected but instead "flattening the curve". If you belong to a risk group or are in close contact with risk groups, you need to consider your decision to come to Ängsbacka carefully.
Let us send loving thoughts to all who are affected by the coronavirus and respond to this challenge with care, practical help, respect and even more love. As you probably already know, love (and oxytocin) is very good for the immune system.
Feel free to contact us if you have any questions.
Registration and more info:
Mobile: +46 722 81 11 78
Sexsibility at Ängsbacka
August 3-8, 2021
Considering how amazing it was last summer, I can only say one thing: make sure that you will be there.
And as usual, we aim to hold the event in the same safe way (in all aspects) that you expect from us and have got used to.
And for me, just thinking about that we will be able to see each other this summer at Ängsbacka and celebrate life together feels absolutely wonderful.
Book the dates in your calendar now.